Is Social Media The New Smoking?

Why are we living our lives in a little screen more than in our actual worlds?

When you go anywhere, you see everyone glued into a little screen instead of appreciating the world around them.

In 2020 when the pandemic hit, we were forced to stay in our homes for a while, giving us the perfect excuse to be tied to our phones more than ever to connect with the outside world.

But what if the world our phones are showing us, isn’t what is actually happening in our worlds?

We turn to news and media and see constant violence and hatred and the uglier parts of the world — is that what we are actually seeing when we step outside? Maybe for some, but is it a true and accurate depiction of what’s going on?

We are at the mercy of what TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook decide they want to show us that day.

Last year, I published an article about the censorship of sex on the internet. The censorship of sex doesn’t mean that sex isn’t happening. Applying this to the rest of social media, just because you are seeing violent content, it doesn’t mean there aren’t good people in the world. OR dating — just because you keep seeing examples of men on the dating apps who ghost you, it doesn’t mean that all men will ghost you.

Additionally, if the algorithm favors good-looking people, are we truly seeing what an average person looks like?

Which brings us to body image and plastic surgery, which we will talk about a little later.

But let’s talk about what social media was built for.

These platforms SAY their intended purpose was to bring people together and improve people’s lives. That definitely could have been the intention, but that’s not the reality now.

Call me a pessimist, but social media has done more harm than good. We seem to be more divided now than ever, and more hate-filled now than ever.

Let’s look at the stats.

From 2000–2020 the suicide rates have gone up by 30% hitting all-time highs. https://afsp.org/suicide-statistics/

Social media has been linked to higher mass shooting rates since 2013.

This Forbes article outlines the connection between mass shootings and social media — I highly recommend reading it because they say that social media erodes empathy.

So I had to ask myself — why would social media erode empathy if it was meant to connect us?

If we are living behind a screen and seeing other people through a screen, we are only seeing a fraction of who they are — we aren’t seeing the whole person, what their reaction was when you wrote something mean about them, why that person said something mean, etc. We only see a fraction of someone (the parts they WANT to show). So how can we truly be connecting on a deeper level if we are only seeing the fraction of the person?

FORBES:

The social media platforms have largely failed to address the issue, and in some cases it has only served to radicalize individuals, such as the recent mass shooters.

“Social media companies like Facebook promised us that its services would encourage people to care more for each other and express their authentic views more both online and in person. None of this has happened,” warned Silard. “Instead, recent Pew research has found that people speak up less in person now for fear of retribution. Why? Social media has helped them realize there are many opposing views out there they would prefer not to confront.”

This is why I’m so passionate about empathy. It’s a hot topic, and people laugh about it being soft. Turns out it’s actually so important for our society, and the lack of it is creating a hateful place.

If we can better understand other people, we can better understand ourselves and the world in a more peaceful way, we don’t have to hate people or ourselves.

Let’s take politics! We hate the other side so much, we won’t even discuss issues with them. After discussing it in a safe space, we actually agree on a lot. Sometimes we just have different ways of solving issues. But if our immediate reaction is to hate someone because they’ve expressed ideas that are not the same as yours, you might not be able to find common ground and find a solution that satisfies you both.

We might have more in common than we think or at least we can empathize with the other side.

Think back to what I said earlier — we are at the mercy of what TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, Google, the news decide to keep on their platforms, optimize in their algorithms, and feed to us. Apply this to politics. If you keep seeing content about what you agree with because that’s what you keep liking, you’re never going to see another side’s explanation or have an equal feed.

Let’s discuss bullying and harassment.

If people don’t have empathy, they’re way more likely to judge, hate comment, and even threaten other people online. This would inevitably cause people to feel terribly about themselves, even if the comment was purely a reflection of the deeply hurt commenter.

We are so quick to criticize and judge, I know there is a lot of work we could do to improve this.

What is it all for?

To convince people our lives are so amazing and fun and make other people jealous? But do we even want to live in our own lives if it’s all being lived through a screen? Do we really need to watch what everyone else is doing instead of appreciating the gift of life we have been given?

We’re so addicted to it too.

We become really hypnotized by the scrolling and it’s almost impossible to break away from. Have you ever looked at your screen time? SIX or EIGHT hours a day on our screens? Up to 1/3 of our lives? It becomes so hard to break away from social media because it feels like we can’t exist without it. I feel like when I’m off social, I’m nearly out of the trends and what’s happening in the world. What a toxic relationship. The social media break has become the new smoke break.

The big scam of social media is that it’s advertised to us as a way to connect with people around the world, but we are being fed only certain information, and fed a lot of hatred. Twitter is such an evil place but turns out, a lot of it are bots, scammers, and people hiding behind a screen that live in the middle of nowhere.

These platforms are supposed to protect us.

You know this is a passion of mine after working in law enforcement relations for one of these social media companies, I was exposed to the vast dark underworld of the internet.

There are plenty of people doing the great hard work in content moderation, trust and safety, and law enforcement, and there’s only so much these companies can do.

These companies can’t really actively stop the violence that people are threatening to do online, but they can prioritize keeping their platforms safe.

I have a feeling it’s not truly a priority for most of these companies.

I interviewed for many jobs in this space in the last year, and these companies don’t want to pay the people doing this work. They want to pay just above minimum wage, for a kid right out of college, to remove unsavory content and communicate with law enforcement.

What’s the difference in the money? The higher salary allows the person working in the job to not burnout, be able to hire therapists to support them, and feel valued by their companies so they are committed to keeping their platforms safe.

When I kept getting told these salaries that were so painfully low, I really started to question whether these tech companies, dating platforms, and social media companies were really valuing the safety of their employees and their platforms.

Bullying and harassment online also makes us even more self-conscious, bringing us to body image and plastic surgery.

There are plenty of studies that show social media platforms favor good looking people. Whether by accident or intentionally, it’s ALWAYS been this way. My mother never let me buy magazines for that exact intention — because they only featured a certain type of face and body, and my mom didn’t want me to develop body image issues.

Turns out her goal failed, but because we were inevitably led to social media, which is magazines on steroids.

Think about the women who have millions of followers — you’re certainly thinking about a type of body, a very specific, perfectly botoxed face, and all because people simply want to look at them.

Our self-esteem takes a big hit when we are constantly shown women with a certain lifted face, big boobs, big butts, and a tiny waist. That’s what social media values. It’s a shock that even after all these years, we are still trying to look like Barbie.

Now I have some very unpopular opinions about elective plastic surgery, and I certainly don’t judge you if you’ve had it, but in my opinion, the increase in plastic surgery, and the conversations of positivity around plastic surgery are really detrimental.

It’s amazing to me how so many women will be like “I think we need to set a good example and wear our hair naturally or wear less makeup or love our bodies” but are the same ones who spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on changing their appearance.

So the conversation I see online about plastic surgery is like “do whatever you need to do to make you happy.”

But my question is — why do you believe that’s the thing that’s going to cure your happiness? I see a lot of people get that work done and still have the same internal issues that were there before. Turns out changing your appearance is actually a bandaid fix to your problems.

I also see a lot “I did it for me and no one else.” I disagree — someone along the way convinced you that your appearance as it is wasn’t good enough or you weren’t “proportional.” Or you were fed by the media that having boobs will make you look better and get you more attention.

My main question is — what happens when we all get plastic surgery to try to obtain one certain look? One type of face? One body? One nose? We all look like slight variations of the same thing. That would be terrifying — we need diversity and can’t teach our children that they can just change whatever they don’t like.

The concept that we can change whatever we don’t like is not how life works. There is so much that we cannot control or change, and we need to live with it, accept it (maybe even LOVE it?!) for what it is. If we think we can change everything, we’re going to get really frustrated when we encounter the things we can’t.

In terms of the long-term effects, so much more research is coming out about breast implant illness which is a horrifying thing, but the majority of the medical community isn’t recognizing it as an actual issue. Why? Because breast implants are making them a billion dollars a year. If they recognize that it’s actually really horrible for your body to implant foreign objects on top of your most vital organs, they might lose a ton of money.

What about anything else we are injecting or implanting in our bodies? Our bodies are of course going to respond by attacking it because it’s a foreign object! Breast implant illness itself reflects a longer-term issue that isn’t even researched enough to know how these things will effect us in the long run.

Also, I’m so amazed at how much money people have that they can spend it on these things. Do you know how much botox and lip fillers cost? My opinion? There are so many things we could do with a BILLION dollars and that’s just from the fake boobies.

Listen, I don’t judge you at all if you’ve done any of these things I promise you. I’m reflecting back a larger issue of our society in popularizing changing our bodies and faces to “make us happier.” There are so many other ways that we can improve our lives and the lives of others around us that are not driven by society’s perception of beauty.

What happens when the trend starts to move towards natural faces? Natural bodies? We’re already seeing this — the trend going back to not having such an enormous ass that you can’t even hold it up with your body. The Kardashians take out their implants, and the whole trend moves away from them.

OUR BODIES ARE NOT TRENDS.

We will never be able to keep up with these trends. We will never be able to fit this ever-changing “ideal” of what a face and body should look like. If we are constantly chasing this, we will never be happy. How can we encourage our current generation to stop valuing our appearance and start valuing what we contribute to our communities and how we elevate the world?

I fear that the body positivity advocates are still getting drowned out by the gravitation to a certain beauty standard we keep holding onto.

I told you I’d come in with some HOT takes today. I would absolutely LOVE to hear your thoughts — what do you think about social media and body image issues?

I really want to leave social media for the rest of time — it has been an amazing tool to connect with all of you, but I feel like we can connect in other ways that aren’t detrimental to our mental health. Would you consider taking a break from social media? Maybe we can do a challenge together.

If you enjoyed this article, make sure to subscribe for more and catch me on The Elevated Podcast every Wednesday for more.

Go sign up for my emails at lisabtag.com because I will start to do a majority of my updates through there at least while I take a break from social.

I hope you feel SO elevated, see you next time.