Healing Your Sexual Energy
Actionable steps to cleanse and restore your sexual space
As an empath coach and energy healer, I’ve seen how the energies of other life forces impact our energy — the good, bad, and everything in between. I’ve seen through my clients and obviously first hand how our empathy translates to our sexual bodies.
If you’re an empath, there’s a chance you might be a sexual empath, absorbing the emotions/energies of the person (or people) that you’re intimate with. We usually take this energy on without even noticing. Because we are in a vulnerable state, riding such wild, sometimes animalistic energy, and letting go of our barriers, it’s easy for our partner’s energy to transfer into our space and ours into theirs.
As we discussed two weeks ago in the last episode in the science of empathy, there are electromagnetic fields around our brain and our heart that transmit information about how we think and feel. If we are not only next to someone, but also naked and inside of them, that transmitted energy is amplified.
If we have sex with someone else (or multiple people), we are allowing them into our energetic space. Before, during, and after we can feel energetic and emotional shifts depending on our partners’ energies. If we don’t manage or protect our sexual energy, the energetic exchange can stick with us for a long time and impact the way we view our own sexuality.
For example, if we felt empowered, sexy, free, liberated, and then had sex with someone who either doesn’t respect women or doesn’t respect you, you could start to feel negatively about yourself or energetically drained or hungover afterwards, when that energy wasn’t even yours to begin with. Honestly, I’m speaking from experience — and very recently too. And after I cleared, restored, and healed those energy leaks over a few days, I came back to my authentic sexual energy. Without even communicating with that person, I clearly understood how he felt about the situation — and let’s just say it wasn’t empowering for me the way I thought it would be and decided it wasn’t worth depleting my energy for again.
I’ve discussed sexual empathy a lot — in past videos and TikToks galore. Today, I want to talk more specifically about why our sexual energy is so precious and delicate, clearing up some common misconceptions about my work, and how to start working on that healing process.
The Big Misconception About Promiscuity
Having sex — especially casual sex — as an empath can be tricky. If our partner is in a certain headspace or they feel negatively about you, we can take that on and either feel their emotions or feel that way about ourselves without even a clear discussion around it. If we don’t feel secure with our partner to express our needs and energy, we can definitely get caught in the energetic spiral because we get disoriented trying to evaluate what energy is ours and not ours.
Our responsibility in sexual safety doesn’t end with physical protection, we need energetic and emotional safety too.
People online sometimes think I’m advocating for abstinence or that I’m misogynistic in saying women shouldn’t sleep around. I’m never — EVER EVER — saying this or ever telling you what to do with your sexual body. The point of my coaching practice, this podcast, and my work is to help you discover what you want to do with your sexual body, release any of the energies in your space that tell you you’re not allowed to do so, and reconnect with how you authentically feel about sex.
Casual to me means no strings attached. For empaths, there are always strings attached energetically. As sexual empaths, you can absolutely have casual sex, I’m just saying that if it gets sticky, make sure you have the tools to restore your energy and reclaim your power.
Energy Work for Sexual Abuse Survivors
Many of us have experienced some sort of sexual trauma big or small, whether it’s physical or emotional abuse, or some form of conditioning by society. For example, we’re often taught that the male orgasm and male gaze is the most important factor in sex and femininity. So we translate that to our personal lives — women can often feel pressured to be sexual providers instead of receivers. This is just one example of conditioning by society that affects our perception of sex, but there are so many others.
Once sexual trauma gets added into the mix of our sexual energy, sex can be a very emotionally charged area of life if we have not worked through any of it. If we were ever taken advantage of in any way, or our sexual energy was harmed, that can create a level of feeling unsafe to be sexually free, and so much more. Many of my clients and myself have discovered so much of our stuck energy gets stored in sexual traumas and therefore our sexual bodies. When we experience trauma, the energy imprints in our physical bodies. When we recall that traumatic experience, we can feel energy tighten in certain areas of our bodies or energetic fields. When it involves sexual trauma, same thing and often our sexual bodies want to hide or protect themselves. A huge part of the healing and the work I do with my clients is acknowledging that, healing it, and starting to uncover the traumas so that they can move forward feeling safe and empowered to be a sexual being. In that, they release any energies of others’ that have taken their power or people that have stolen their sexual energy so that they can reclaim their power and feel safe again.
Since our emotions and energies are charged with years of societal conditioning, sexual trauma, and/or pure vulnerability, sex can bring up a lot of energy and therefore emotion between two (or more) people. I’m not saying this to tell you we are all doomed and shouldn’t even be having sex. I’m saying this to tell you we can use this as a superpower.
So another clarification point, this is not the cure-all for sexual abuse survivors, but I’ve found that spiritual and energy work as well as coaching/therapy can be extremely helpful to reclaim our sexual bodies and work through any roadblocks along the way.
Do the akashic records talk about sexuality?
Oh yes they do. They actually love to. So this brings up an interesting discussion around religion/spirituality and sex. As you know, through reading Sex and The Constitution and many other books around the evolution of sexuality, I’ve come to this understanding that sex wouldn’t be pleasurable if it were wrong. The intended purpose is to create life, sure, but demonizing pleasure seems counterintuitive to me. When I access anyone’s akashic records, sexuality is obviously a huge part of our lives and our energy. Our sexuality is an indicator of health, vulnerability, trust, self-love, and intimacy with self and others.
So I’ve gotten the question about sexuality in readings, especially regarding the guilt from religion and upbringing. My favorite response in an akashic records reading from someone’s spirit team was “ironically, they will find God the more they explore their sexuality,” making a cheeky joke about finding God.
You can also ask the records about any sexual energies in your space that are blocking your ability to be vulnerable or experience sexual freedom and we can clear out any energies that are blocking your ability to feel sexually free.
How do we separate from the energy and use it to our advantage?
Before and after it’s important to clear our energetic space whether that’s through meditation, spending time in nature, taking a bath, using crystals, exercising, whatever clears your energy and helps you ground your space (check out my website for a Free Empath 101 video to learn more about grounding techniques or my downloadable guides — link in description below). Clearing your energy doesn’t mean that you’re getting rid of them in physical form, it just means that their energy isn’t weighing on you as heavily. This is also important for sex workers in person or online sex creators. The world is filled with people who don’t honor and respect their work, and that energy can easily infiltrate their mind, body, and spirit. It’s important to separate from these thoughts, energies, and opinions that are not authentic to our personal beliefs.
Reclaiming your energy allows for ownership of your space and pushes other unwanted energies out. And I have to say, owning your space again is one of the best feelings. It’s also important to communicate and understand how your partner feels going into the experience — are they having a rough day or week? It’s important to note these energies so that you can take notes of what energy is yours and not yours and easily separate.
It’s also vital to understand that as an empath, we are not responsible for others’ healing. We do not have to carry the weight of the world (or our partner) on our shoulders. We can care, but we don’t have to carry. If it’s not the type of relationship where you’re totally aware of all that you could be absorbing, it’s important to know yourself and your energy even more so that you can determine and observe your shifts before, during, and after the sexual experience.
Actionable Steps to Heal the Sexual Space
In your own personal exploration of your sexual body, masturbation and forming a ritual around self-indulgence contributes to reclaiming your sexual body and getting to know what you like without the influence of other people. Somewhat recently, I was experiencing stagnation in my sexuality. I was feeling almost random guilt and like I was being watched anytime I wanted to sexually express. As I observed this energy, I saw it as a protection almost paternal energy clouding my space and what I needed to do was set a ritual around my masturbation practice — light candles, bring out the toys, and set an intention to clear out any energies in my sexual space that are blocking my ability to feel free and empowered. With that, the energy cleared out so quickly.
Masturbation and orgasm are also great ways to manifest and bring your sexual body back in alignment. When we explore our bodies without pressure or other people in the room, we allow a reconnection back to how we authentically feel sexy — not to please someone else.
Reclaiming and re-owning your sexual space is one of the more empowering mindset shifts to make regarding your sexuality. Rewriting stories that say your sexuality is for others or taken by others to say this is my sexual body and I decide what I want to do with it. A way to do this in meditation is to say hello to your physical body, the aura around you, and decide on a color that represents your ownership and envision yourself painting your body and aura to declare it’s all yours.
Another great meditation is a higher self meditation specifically for your sexual space. I just put out a meditation on my YouTube to connect with your higher self and cleanse and restore your sexual energy. In this meditation you meet your higher self and allow them to show you how they feel about sex. You can even work this as a journal prompt — how would my higher self think, act, speak, embrace if they were totally sexually free and empowered? How would they feel about sex? What would they tell me if I were feeling sexually stuck or limited? How can I embody this higher version of myself right now?
At the core of the healing process is working through sexual traumas. As I mentioned before, coaching, therapy, EMDR, shadow and inner child work are all great tools to heal those traumas because it’s difficult to move forward in alignment without acknowledging aspects of your sexuality that still need healing. For me, working in therapy and coaching along with the spiritual tools allowed me that access to more sexual freedom.
In the spiritual side of things, orgasm or tantric meditations are great to combine that sexual and spiritual practice in one. These meditations allow you to connect your soul and body and keep that sexual energy flowing if you are awaiting a partner to arrive. These practices combine sexuality and spirituality and help you work through traumas, destruct relationship patterns, or and release any numbness that stops you from feeling. Physical, emotional, or spiritual numbness is very common in dormant sexual energy. Connecting with that energy regularly can open your sexual energy to attract the right partner.
Additionally, it’s important to rewrite our belief system and stories that dictate our mindset around sex. Society, upbringing, religion, have all taught us stories about sex that control our perspective on how we see it in our lives. If we were taught by society that you had to look a certain way to be sexy, that’s a story that can make us feel not worthy of sex if we don’t fit that look. If religion taught us that sex is a sin or we should feel guilty about indulging, that guilt can weigh heavily on our ability to embrace our sexuality, indulgence, and self-love. If society taught us that having sex with people too soon makes them lose interest, we can keep attracting that experience.
Rewriting these stories can start to manifest the experiences you want to attract. So for example, I get caught in that belief that having sex with someone makes them lose interest. I had to rewrite that belief — actually, having sex with someone makes them even more interested and intrigued. Anyone who didn’t fit that new belief and narrative in my new experiences meant that the universe wants me to keep hammering that belief until it’s solid, and then the right partners will start to manifest. Writing these new beliefs out on paper, EFT tapping them in, meditating on them and envisioning new experiences that fit your new beliefs are all ways to integrate these new beliefs.
The final piece as you move forward in manifesting the sexual and romantic partners that are aligned with how you want to experience your sexual energy is getting clear about your ideal sexual and romantic partner. Specifying the details about who they are, how they view sex, how they make you feel before, during and after your sexual experiences together, and then embodying that ideal partner. Since we only attract matches in vibrations, we must start embodying that ideal partner (or partners) to attract them. You can also use your clairs to manifest this partner, which we’ve talked about on the podcast before and I just put out a new video on my OnlyFans talking about how to manifest dick using the 6 clairs.
Empaths tend to desire a connection and a match in sexual energy in tandem with heart energy where they can both be reciprocated and freely honored. Next week we are going to talk all about empaths in dating and relationships so more to come on that.
When we reclaim, restore, heal, forgive, and embrace our sexual energy, we build a stronger connection to self, our physical bodies, our energy, and spirit. In this process, we get to choose our sexual experiences, feel safe to be seen, and release all of the energies and perspectives of our external world that say we aren’t allowed to be sexual or sexually indulge. Life starts to become, dare I say it, orgasmic.
Find me on TikTok and Instagram at @theelevatedempath and go check out my offerings and website at lisabtag.com
If you want to dive deeper into this powerful healing work, I have the perfect starter guide to help you cleanse your sexual energy, feel empowered to set boundaries in your romantic life, and feel connected to your body with the Heal Your Sexual Energy Guide here: https://payhip.com/b/2DnaM
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